******
Dear Random Guy on the street,
No! I am not interested in smiling for you. I just want to get to work on time and get down to helping people live better lives.
Dear Mr. Construction worker,
If me telling you I'm engaged is the only thing that will stop you from harassing me, then I'll make up a fiancee. Also, thank you for making me feel unsafe on my daily walk to work. You've forced me to look around me for your presence each time I walk past the spot where you called out to me.
Dear Random Guy at the club,
Yes, I'm a good dancer, but that doesn't mean I have to dance with you. Thanks for calling me a bitch just because I said no!
Dear Other Random guy,
Atleast try to ask for permission before you decide to press up against me and hold my hips in place. I don't appreciate having your groin pressed up against my backside without even knowing what's going on!
*******
Yes, I am a woman and yes, I have breasts and wide hips. Does that make me attractive? I don't know, maybe it does, and maybe not. However, that does NOT give you the right to make me feel unsafe and vulnerable when I am going about my daily life. It does NOT give you the right to say that you were "complimenting me" and that I should just be humble and accept your "compliment". If your unwanted attention should be considered a compliment, I think I'd rather live life without it.
It has been drilled in my mind, that I should try my best to dress appropriately, I force myself not to wear clothes that come across as "slutty", a term that society has forced on women to prevent her from wearing things she might feel comfortable in. I hear all these stories of rape where a large part of society seems to say, she shouldn't have been wearing that, she asked for it! But who the hell are you to tell a woman what to wear and what not to wear? Why is expected for a woman to dress a certain way when a man could wear anything he wants and not have the same level of scrutiny placed on him? The other day, I saw a couple running on the streets on a rather hot afternoon. They were both shirtless and the woman sported a sports bra while the man was bare chested. A friend of mine looked at me and said, well, that seems inappropriate! I glared at him and wondered out loud why it was OK that the guy could take his shirt off when it got too hot but the girl couldn't? He just mumbled something about societal standards.
Why is it that some men feel they have a right to get away with things like catcalling while women have to either be rebels and do whatever the hell we want to do or cower in the shadows, being afraid of when the next person may come up and "hit on" us. Consent is something that is often lacking in these interactions. My clothes do not imply consent. Only me saying that you could do something is consent!
So, dear CatCaller, the next time you think it's great to compliment me by telling my I have a fine ass or that I would look prettier with a smile on my face, just know that I am a strong, independent woman and you may try to harass me, but I know who I am and I'm not going to give in to the need to be silent!
P.S. The video above is a perfect explanation of what women go through almost every day :-/ It needs to stop!
Dear Random Guy on the street,
No! I am not interested in smiling for you. I just want to get to work on time and get down to helping people live better lives.
Dear Mr. Construction worker,
If me telling you I'm engaged is the only thing that will stop you from harassing me, then I'll make up a fiancee. Also, thank you for making me feel unsafe on my daily walk to work. You've forced me to look around me for your presence each time I walk past the spot where you called out to me.
Dear Random Guy at the club,
Yes, I'm a good dancer, but that doesn't mean I have to dance with you. Thanks for calling me a bitch just because I said no!
Dear Other Random guy,
Atleast try to ask for permission before you decide to press up against me and hold my hips in place. I don't appreciate having your groin pressed up against my backside without even knowing what's going on!
*******
Yes, I am a woman and yes, I have breasts and wide hips. Does that make me attractive? I don't know, maybe it does, and maybe not. However, that does NOT give you the right to make me feel unsafe and vulnerable when I am going about my daily life. It does NOT give you the right to say that you were "complimenting me" and that I should just be humble and accept your "compliment". If your unwanted attention should be considered a compliment, I think I'd rather live life without it.
It has been drilled in my mind, that I should try my best to dress appropriately, I force myself not to wear clothes that come across as "slutty", a term that society has forced on women to prevent her from wearing things she might feel comfortable in. I hear all these stories of rape where a large part of society seems to say, she shouldn't have been wearing that, she asked for it! But who the hell are you to tell a woman what to wear and what not to wear? Why is expected for a woman to dress a certain way when a man could wear anything he wants and not have the same level of scrutiny placed on him? The other day, I saw a couple running on the streets on a rather hot afternoon. They were both shirtless and the woman sported a sports bra while the man was bare chested. A friend of mine looked at me and said, well, that seems inappropriate! I glared at him and wondered out loud why it was OK that the guy could take his shirt off when it got too hot but the girl couldn't? He just mumbled something about societal standards.
Why is it that some men feel they have a right to get away with things like catcalling while women have to either be rebels and do whatever the hell we want to do or cower in the shadows, being afraid of when the next person may come up and "hit on" us. Consent is something that is often lacking in these interactions. My clothes do not imply consent. Only me saying that you could do something is consent!
So, dear CatCaller, the next time you think it's great to compliment me by telling my I have a fine ass or that I would look prettier with a smile on my face, just know that I am a strong, independent woman and you may try to harass me, but I know who I am and I'm not going to give in to the need to be silent!
No comments:
Post a Comment