The first week of January 2020 was the first time I had heard of Covid-19. I had just returned to the US from a whirlwind trip back in Indonesia and had a lot on my mind, including my upcoming nuptials which were scheduled for May 2020, the research work I had to get done before the wedding, and of course just general life things. I was excited, nervous and mostly determined to get a ton of work done in the spring semester. Like many others, Covid-19 was just a problem that China was dealing with. I had heard podcasts which talked about the potential impact it could have in our interconnected world and just categorized it in a compartment of my brain used to make small talk.
Research continued as intended for the first 2 months of the year- I was able to get some good data (thankfully) and was hopeful that March and April would be the most productive months. I had scheduled studies to be done in March, and put them on the shared lab calendar. I was keeping up with the news in the US as the virus made its way through Washington state, New York city and then California issuing a 'shelter in place' order. I think mid- February was when I started realizing that this was turning into a bigger problem that had originally been anticipated. I started obsessively looking into the data. JHU's coronavirus tracker had come online and I would refresh the page once a day to look at the numbers. I started watching YouTube videos which discussed how the spread of the virus was being modelled- a SIR model to begin with, and slowly looking into how migration was going to impact the population that was susceptible. My family Whatsapp group started blowing up with videos of how to prevent Covid-19 (strangest things) which I did my level best to dispel. Thankfully we have some doctors in the family who immediately started dispelling rumors and "Fake News".
In addition to all this, research, mentoring and teaching still continued. I tried my level best to keep my obsession with the fate of the world at bay while doing the work I was supposed to be doing. I tried to stay optimistic in the face of this crisis. Data was collected, animals were trained, reports and manuscripts were submitted. Yet, my refresh rate on https://coronavirus.jhu.edu/map.html increased and I started scouring the web and news for any information. As anyone who has played Plague would know- the news started talking about the disease a lot more, everywhere you turned you only heard the statistics. I started meditating. I googled symptoms. I got more and more worried with every passing day. Productivity decreased.
Soon, New York was hit heavily and as number of cases went up and stay at home and social distancing orders were issued in various states. Spring break was fast arriving and the university discussed potentially going online like some others across the country had already done (kudos to Purdue for quick action!). Through all this time, I think I was hopeful that eventually this would all disappear (wishful thinking) and I could go back into lab and collect data.
At the end of spring break, Indiana issued stay at home orders (for 2 weeks, which would then be extended for a month). I discussed plans with my advisor about the work from home setup. Discussed expectations during this time. Every day though, the news filled me with dread of what was to come. I think just dealing with the stress made my productivity drop to levels I haven't seen before. I couldn't get out of bed on some days. I would be on Zoom calls with friends but then go back to being sad and lonely. My mental health was definitely taking a hit. I thrive on social interaction, and I was quickly learning that I needed to find a way to survive on it a little lesser. Through all this, I realized that there were grad students and workers across the globe who were being made to go into lab because they were deemed as "essential" for work they clearly didn't think was essential. It made me thankful for my advisor and the many others who were prioritizing their students' safety over research.
As I reach the end of the rant, here are things I'm hoping to take away from this pandemic:
1. Be kind to yourself and the others that you work with
2. Learn to be happy in your own head. Social isolation has taught me that I need to find joy in my own company.
3. Be thankful for friends and family who continue to support you through everything.
4. Research will find a way to come around- I plan on playing catch up after we can start going back to labs.
5. Find yourself an advisor /boss who understands that mental health is a real thing and not an excuse to not do work.
If you made it to the end of this post, thanks :)
Research continued as intended for the first 2 months of the year- I was able to get some good data (thankfully) and was hopeful that March and April would be the most productive months. I had scheduled studies to be done in March, and put them on the shared lab calendar. I was keeping up with the news in the US as the virus made its way through Washington state, New York city and then California issuing a 'shelter in place' order. I think mid- February was when I started realizing that this was turning into a bigger problem that had originally been anticipated. I started obsessively looking into the data. JHU's coronavirus tracker had come online and I would refresh the page once a day to look at the numbers. I started watching YouTube videos which discussed how the spread of the virus was being modelled- a SIR model to begin with, and slowly looking into how migration was going to impact the population that was susceptible. My family Whatsapp group started blowing up with videos of how to prevent Covid-19 (strangest things) which I did my level best to dispel. Thankfully we have some doctors in the family who immediately started dispelling rumors and "Fake News".
In addition to all this, research, mentoring and teaching still continued. I tried my level best to keep my obsession with the fate of the world at bay while doing the work I was supposed to be doing. I tried to stay optimistic in the face of this crisis. Data was collected, animals were trained, reports and manuscripts were submitted. Yet, my refresh rate on https://coronavirus.jhu.edu/map.html increased and I started scouring the web and news for any information. As anyone who has played Plague would know- the news started talking about the disease a lot more, everywhere you turned you only heard the statistics. I started meditating. I googled symptoms. I got more and more worried with every passing day. Productivity decreased.
Soon, New York was hit heavily and as number of cases went up and stay at home and social distancing orders were issued in various states. Spring break was fast arriving and the university discussed potentially going online like some others across the country had already done (kudos to Purdue for quick action!). Through all this time, I think I was hopeful that eventually this would all disappear (wishful thinking) and I could go back into lab and collect data.
At the end of spring break, Indiana issued stay at home orders (for 2 weeks, which would then be extended for a month). I discussed plans with my advisor about the work from home setup. Discussed expectations during this time. Every day though, the news filled me with dread of what was to come. I think just dealing with the stress made my productivity drop to levels I haven't seen before. I couldn't get out of bed on some days. I would be on Zoom calls with friends but then go back to being sad and lonely. My mental health was definitely taking a hit. I thrive on social interaction, and I was quickly learning that I needed to find a way to survive on it a little lesser. Through all this, I realized that there were grad students and workers across the globe who were being made to go into lab because they were deemed as "essential" for work they clearly didn't think was essential. It made me thankful for my advisor and the many others who were prioritizing their students' safety over research.
As I reach the end of the rant, here are things I'm hoping to take away from this pandemic:
1. Be kind to yourself and the others that you work with
2. Learn to be happy in your own head. Social isolation has taught me that I need to find joy in my own company.
3. Be thankful for friends and family who continue to support you through everything.
4. Research will find a way to come around- I plan on playing catch up after we can start going back to labs.
5. Find yourself an advisor /boss who understands that mental health is a real thing and not an excuse to not do work.
If you made it to the end of this post, thanks :)
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